Cheese in the Toilet : What Raising a Two-Year-Old is Really Like


Two Year Olds

Raising Two-Year-Olds is not for the faint of heart.

I love Milwaukee. I love the opportunity to raise my kids in the city and expose them to things like rush hour traffic, Indian food, and museums without having to travel more than ten minutes from my house. My sister hates driving on any road with more than one lane and enjoys living her little cabin in the woods twenty minutes from anything. To each their own. She lives in the LaCrosse area where we grew up, but we use technology to be able *almost* to live life together.

The thing we share most in common right now is we are each raising two-year-olds. Each day, one of our two-year-olds is either driving us crazy or loving us hard. When living with a two-year-old, it’s nice to have a little bit of solidarity. Since we can’t share daily life in person, we often text, chat, or video with one another. Her two-year-old is usually crazier than mine is so let me share some of her little log cabin insanity with you. 

I’ll set the scene. It’s a cold Tuesday just before 9:00 a.m. I have just finished hot gluing a baby carrier for my two-year-old, Reena, to be able to wear her stuffed raccoon in. She’s jealous that I “get” to wear the baby all the time, and so I made her a baby carrier of her own. As I sit down to eat my bowl of cereal, my sister texts me.

“I’ve been plunging the toilet for 15 minutes because G flushed cheese down the toilet. Guess what doesn’t break apart? CHEESE. I’ll be sitting here plunging poo and cheese until the day I die.” 

Like the good sister I am, I just sent laughing emojis her way. 

“Every time I flush, more cheese comes out. I’m having people over in three hours! Why do two-year-olds ruin everything!?”

I sent a text with a picture of my two-year-old gracefully looking out the window with her raccoon in her new baby carrier with a text reading, “For comparison.”

Two Year Old

Because she apparently wanted to hear my laughter all the way from Milwaukee, she starts live streaming. “WHY CHEESE? This is a six-thousand dollar flush! It’s never going to end. Why are two-year-olds the worst!”

She goes offline. About twenty minutes later, a text: “It’s over.”

One minute later: “While I was working on the toilet, G filled the dog’s water bowl with water and dog food, so there’s water and dog food everywhere.”

One minute after that: “There’s dog food in his urinal. I need a baby cam in the bathroom.”


If you’re the parent of a two-year-old, I see you! The insanity is real and it’s hard for all of us.


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