My Imperfections Bring My Children Joy




We all have those things related to our personal appearance that we wish we could change. For some, it may be their hair, and for others, it could be how one eye is slightly bigger than the other. When you have children around, they will undoubtedly point out the physical characteristics about you that are different or strange. Yet, having children has helped me accept these so-called flaws as little pieces of me that are easy to commit to memory. My imperfections are not flaws to my children; they are a part of what makes me their Mom. 

What Is In An Imperfection

When I think back to my grandmother in my childhood, one of the first things I recall is that she had black skin tags all over her face. The contrast of these three-dimensional black spots on her brown skin always intrigued me. I didn’t know anyone else with these spots. These spots were my grandma’s. Now, as an adult, and with her no longer with us, anytime I see a skin tag, I think of my grandmother. It immediately makes me think of her infectious laugh, her admiration for solitaire, and how she would cook the smelliest of foods all day long. I’m not sure if she considered her skin tags a flaw, I think a lot of people do; but to me, they were a special part of someone I loved dearly. 

We Inherit Imperfections

One place I see skin tags often is on my own skin. I didn’t have any until after I had children, and now I have them all over, although more dark brown than black. I only have one on my face. For a while, I researched how to make them fall off or how to have them safely and painlessly removed. The objective is to have smooth, flawless skin, right? Skin tags do not fit into any of that description. Then one night, when cuddling with my three-year-old daughter, she started playing with the one skin tag on my face. She said, “I like your spot.” Ever since that first day, she discovered my “spot,” she has come up to me and touched it. She doesn’t point at it in disgust; she rubs it out of love. It is on her Mommy’s face. It is her Mommy’s spot.  There is no way I could deprive her of that spot now. 

Our Imperfections Are What Make Us Memorable

While I would love to have smooth skin all over my face, I don’t, and my children find a little joy in this simple part of life. I have several other “imperfections” that I have inherited from family members, and even though the American beauty standard would rather I look a different way, I cherish my differences. From the hair that grows out of the mole on my arm (thanks, Mom) to the gap in my teeth (thanks, Brother), these are things that will remind my children of me when I am no longer here to see with their own eyes. So before you stress yourself out trying to look like what you think you’re “supposed” to look like, think of all the special differences that your loved ones see every day and will remember as that thing that belonged to a person they love.

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Tif is a wife, mother to a passionate little boy and bold little girl, DIY connoisseur, mental health advocate, and an artist of many forms. She is a stay at home mom by day and creative industry business owner by night. Although she has spent most of her life in cities (Milwaukee, NYC, Chicago, and Las Vegas), her family moved to the Waukesha suburbs in 2018. Besides her family, she loves high fashion editorials, documentaries, people watching, Mexican food, and slam poetry.


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