I am a proud mom of all boys. Three boys vs. one female in my home. Some may think my family is a nut house, and for the most part they are right. I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I don’t know a thing about raising girls, but here is what I do know….
You know are raising a houseful of boys when:
- They come home covered in dirt and are excited to strip naked in the garage.
- You find yourself saying things like, “If you don’t stop eating your boogers, there will be no dessert tonight.”
#3 - Little underwear butts fall asleep on your couch on Friday nights while watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- You have more pee around the base of the toilet then you have in the actual toilet
- You scream “put your wiener away!” on a daily basis
- You buy only colored socks because all white socks eventually turn brown anyway
#9 - Sending your kids out to climb trees is actually a stress relief — trees are nature’s babysitter
- Sleepovers mean eating eight hot dogs for dinner, a bowl of popcorn and then asking for s’mores for dessert
- You find matchbox cars in your door handles
- Legos take over everything
- Stitches and broken bones are inevitable
- Fort building is serious business and requires every blanket, pillow and chair in your house
- Anything can be made into a sword, light saber or ninja stick
- You know all the tricks on how to sneak a goodbye kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car for school as to not danger one’s “cool” reputation
- Wilted bouquets of dandelions adorn the kitchen table in the spring
#17 - You have household rules about when and where it’s acceptable to fart
- When unloading the groceries, it’s not unheard of to come out for a second trip only to find one of them on the roof of your car
- Selection of clothing is based on how fast your pants can make you run
- Footballs, baseballs and Frisbees find their way into the house no matter how many times you explain that they are outside toys
- The laundry room smells like feet
- Saturday mornings begins with wrestling, Nerf guns and bacon
- Nerf gun bullets will invade your home like termites and it won’t be unusual to find one in the Pringle container
#22 - When disciplining you use words like respect, honor and lead
- Brothers are both best friends and worst enemies
- You get a little teary-eyed when you consider the fact that someday another girl might very well unseat you in your son’s heart
- Small rocks, pebbles and wood chips line the bottom of your washing machine, no matter how well you think you checked all the pockets
- There are multiple degrees of “clean” when it comes to clothes
#28 - You buy your five year old deodorant from the Dollar Store, not because he needs it but because he wants be like you when you put your makeup on (and yes, this means smelling his armpits every morning going forward)
- Everything becomes a contest — who can create the biggest foam when brushing teeth, who can tie their shoes the fastest, who can burp the loudest or who can make a basket with their socks in the laundry basket from across the room
- Backpacks become hiding spots for small toys, broken pencils and half eaten snacks
- All walks outside require a stick
- Boys can make unbelievably realistic race car, machine gun or laser sounds
- Random socks appear everywhere. It is a physical impossibility for a young boy to take of BOTH socks at the same time and put them in the laundry hamper
- “Playing Ninja” basically just means “sneak around and get in Mom’s way while she tries to actually accomplish something”
- You create a rating system for just how bad the injury has to be to merit getting Mom. (8 or higher, kiddos!)
Our home is insane and a war zone most nights. I survive by laughing. When the Guinea Pig poops on the couch, I grab the bottle of Resolve and attempt my best “pew pew” laser gun sound effect. However, raising my little men to be kind, respectful and honorable men is not a job I take lightly. My fellow Boy Moms, we are raising the men who will one day take care of someone else’s little girl.
