These words present themselves so simply, and yet, if you’re here with me, you might be all too familiar with the conflict they have a way of stirring up.
If All You Have To Do Is Ask, Why Don’t We Ask?
Perhaps, we can’t quite believe we are worthy of receiving our heart’s desires.
We simply aren’t yet the person we imagine achieves all that we dream of.
It’s not the time. It’s not the place.
It might have been long ago that we learned, from someone we should have been able to depend upon, not to trust our hearts to be honored.
Maybe, just maybe, disheartenment has brought us to the conclusion that we shouldn’t have to ask, after all.
The reality is that in not coming from the same experiences, we don’t speak the same language. Even the way we receive love is unique to the individual.
What If, Truly, All You Have To Do Is Ask?
What better place to start the practice of asking than listening to yourself?
Whatever season of life we are in, it demands a particular courage and commitment of us.
Let us celebrate the strength we innately possess in this.
And if it is on our hearts, let us embrace the space to consider if there is time to dedicate elsewhere.
If the moments truly are full, then it’s time to consider how to be truly present in them, while they’re still here.
But just as well, it’s time to set aside space to breathe, the place where each of us sets ourselves up to thrive.
If there are moments we do recognize slipping away from us, there might be more time than we realized for those passions that have fallen by the wayside.
A new season is just beyond tomorrow, and new passions await us there.
In this season in our home, married to a lovely (patient albeit particular) man, we are parenting a house full of strong-willed children just beginning to explore their independence.
Here, within the magical days of the all-powerful kiss of a momma, I am required to release them from my grasp, only to step in now for every scrape and scuffle they are still convinced demands my attention.
Right along with their newfound independence, they are growing more aware by the day of every word not intended for their ears and less aware of those words which are intended for them.
Through it all, my husband and I find the call to communicate more creatively rising higher always.
Not wanting to be the nagging wife, I’ve always resisted lists, but in my own marriage, I’m beginning to see the space that a simple list opens in our relationship for understanding each other and connecting.
While I certainly have wondered if the man so bold as to say, “All you have to do is ask,” and I could possibly be looking at the same house, I’m learning in the commitment to this relationship and our responsibilities together that I want everything we have the potential to be more than I want to be right (most days anyway).
I want freedom over fear.
So I will practice trust.
I will practice asking.
Be it the desires of my heart or the plans and chores on our agenda, a list equips us to understand together what we want to prioritize.
It’s only too easy to find that somewhere along the way we started living alongside each other and stopped living together.
The last time I found that we were falling into this place once again, it rose up in me that even here where the space to get away together isn’t always a reality, there is still space to be seen.
It just might be that all we have to do is have the patience and courage to ask.
Here is the list I collected for my husband of gestures that make me feel seen.
Light a candle for me.
Kiss me on the forehead.
Make me a cup of tea when you make your coffee.
Bring me flowers or one of my favorite treats.
Choose music you know I enjoy too.
Set up a board game we both enjoy after the kids are in bed.
Plan dinner once a week (before we’re scrambling at dinner time), giving me the peace of mind that I don’t have to.
As we rise to meet the challenge of the responsibilities we prioritize, there are a number of questions I don’t want to forget to ask myself.
How does my husband receive love?
What has the man of the house done to serve us well today?
Have I thanked him?
Do I lead our children in appreciating the way this man loves us so very well?
What do I enjoy in my husband?
Does he know I enjoy him?
All you have to do is ask.
The power of asking goes so much farther than we even begin to imagine.