We welcomed baby number two, a little girl, to our family at the end of June. She completes our family and her big brother couldn’t be more in love. With all that love and new baby smell, things are supposed to be blissful. Right?
My transition from one to two children has been hard.
Somewhere over the last two-plus years since my son was born, I seem to have lost all of the tough memories. Alternatively, they may just be out-shown by all of the happy, warm-your-bones memories that stay so close to the top of my mind. Either way, the reality of a baby (not to mention a toddler), is kicking my butt.
I constantly find myself saying, it wasn’t this hard the first time around. I don’t remember my son ever doing X, Y, Z. He never cried so much. He was sleeping through the night almost from birth.
In all honestly, he was a great baby but he was still a baby. Also, I did not have to try to create more hours in the day to attend to the needs to two children. So, to some degree it really wasn’t as hard the first time around. Still, my expectations are completely unrealistic, border line insane, but this is what my brain keeps telling me.
Lately though, I’m beginning to remember (REALLY remember), the tough times. For example, my daughter was screaming her head off a few nights ago. There seemed to be nothing we could do to calm her down. Then I had this great (seemingly novel) idea of trying to reset her by flicking on and off the bathroom lights. It worked like a charm. She stopped screaming after the first few flicks of the switch and I was able to eventually get her calm enough to sleep.
While the whole scene was playing out, I had the sensation of déjà vu.
Only hours later did it occur to me (aka the memory wiggled its way from the back of my mind) that I used to do the same thing with my son. My husband had the same déjà vu experience as he repeatedly walked around the house trying to convince our daughter to sleep. He had totally forgotten the hours spent walking rooms with our son.
I have no idea how the mind works, but it certainly is slanted in favor of reproduction. To be on the safe side, I’ve started to chronicle some of our escapades so as not to forget how much fun having a newborn can be. I will use this to give me my will power when that new born baby smell starts to disappear and my ovaries start to tell me I want ten more children.
Maybe my brain is finally accepting I’m totally good with two.