Motherhood can be isolating. Taking care of your child’s needs can be all encompassing and leave very little room for anything else, especially at the beginning.
Friendships can be hard to maintain for a number of reasons. When you add a child (or children) into the mix, it can be even harder.
It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day routine, and forget about your passions and hobbies. However, we need to pay attention to our own needs, relationships, and interests.
So, how do you fit everything in? How can you still connect with the people and loves in your life?
No, not dance clubs. I’m talking about groups of people meeting face to face with a shared interest or hobby.
I know what you’re thinking. Clubs, at our age? That’s just silly. It’s not like we need an after school activity.
Except, as moms and parents, we need an after kids activity.
It can be hard to meet people when you are an adult and a parent. It also can be intimidating and scary. (I could go on and on.) So, if there’s an easier way to meet and make friends, wouldn’t you want to try it?
Clubs really are an amazing way to meet people with similar interests and experiences. Bonding over a shared love of something can really take the pressure off of a new relationship or deepen a pre-existing one.
After having my first baby, I was lonely. Really, really lonely.
I was the first in my group of friends to become a mom, and found we didn’t all have the same interests or time constraints anymore. I wasn’t up for getting dinner at 7pm, but I also needed something other than motherhood to feed my soul. I loved becoming a mom, but I missed the old me too.
I joined a stay at home mom group, hit all the local libraries, and visited every park known to man. Still, it wasn’t enough. I was finding things for me and my son to do, but I wasn’t meeting my own needs. I wasn’t able to have conversations about anything deeper than sleep habits or fussy eaters because I was too concerned with watching my son.
It was great to meet other moms and have playdates, but I needed some adult time.
After my twin pregnancy, I found exactly what I was looking for: The Waukesha Mothers of Twins Club.
We met once a month, just us moms. It was a time to talk without our children pulling on us or screaming. We also went out to dinners and did activities.
Even though I was nervous about meeting new women, having something so significant in common helped. It was a way to start the conversations, and a great source of advice.
Joining also built my confidence in trying something new. I was able to meet a group of strangers in a safe space. Not only was it the start to new relationships, but it taught me a lot about myself.
So much so, that when I saw a post about a book club in our neighborhood, I decided to join that too. The first meeting was in a public place, so I felt safe.
I’ve always loved to read. This gave me the chance to explore new books, have stimulating conversation, and meet new people. Plus, there was also food, wine, or coffee. No children allowed. It was fantastic!
Even if you aren’t a twin mom or you hate reading, chances are there are still plenty of clubs for you. From Facebook to local libraries, there are notices about clubs popping up all over. All it takes is a little research about your interests or hobbies, and there’s probably a club you can join.
It may seem scary to get out there, but having something in common before you even meet makes it so much easier.
This is so so great. It’s great practical input on getting that important space to just be us and foster friendships there.