I look at my daughter as the best thing I have in the world. She is almost 2 years old, and she has the best personality. She is a fearless, strong, happy-go-lucky child. She is sensitive and empathetic. She knows when I am sad and comes over to hug me and cuddle me. She is adventurous, honestly a little too much for my heart to handle. I love how she never gives up trying to climb a table or chair over and over again, no matter how many times she falls down and how happy she feels when she finally figures it out.
She is stubborn when she wants something and doesn’t stop asking until she gets it. She wears her emotions out for the world to see. Even when I’m mad at her or need her to give me some space, I still love her intensely and would go to the ends of the world for her.
She loves to dance, loves getting a hug, is a bit of a prankster, and definitely has a bit of nuttiness and craziness to her. In my eyes, she is absolute perfection.
There is absolutely no dispute she gets a majority of her personality from me. My husband is a calm, peaceful, and very grounded soul, unlike the two of us gals running and goofing around the house constantly.
One random day, in the midst of all the cuddles and kisses, I looked at her and thanked God for making this absolutely perfect child. She truly was fearfully and wonderfully made, and I couldn’t believe she was mine. And then I thought, she is just like me. So why don’t I love myself as much I love her?
When did I stop being a free spirit? Why do I beat myself up for falling down instead of trying again at my dreams? Why do I feel I am too sensitive and need to ‘toughen up’? Why don’t I love my body for creating perfection? Why, instead, am I focusing on the chubby rolls on my tummy and looking for ways to hide them? Why do I let the pressures of conforming to the world’s standard of being a woman/ mother define me when my baby girl sees me as her security and safe space just the way I am? Why do I see ‘flaws’ in my personality when my daughter has so much love for me?
I’ve decided to be better and do better in loving myself, just as I am because for her to love herself, she needs to see her Mama love herself first.