Mom has needs too: I am a mother, not a martyr


We are a year into this pandemic, and I am curious how you all are faring

At this moment, I am present and fully engaged in this “unprecedented” life. But, I feel like I have spent much of this past year living in the hazy world known as my mind. Minutes turned hours (very likely totaling days, if not months) have been spent dissecting my values, my every thought, my very being. 

From all of that introspection, I realized a few things. First, quiet and solitude are beautiful things. Before the pandemic, being alone in a quiet house was eerie, I thought, but now that I am working from home with two littles running around, there never seems to be enough of it. I find peace and energy in being able to sit with myself in silence and stillness.

Second, plants bring light and joy to spaces. I was never a plant person – until life as we knew it changed. I have found that greenery reminds me that I am alive. It transports me to the warmth and brightness of days past, giving my soul and mood a boost I so desperately need at times, especially in the dead of winter when everything is gray and dormant outside. 

Lastly, I have learned that while I may be a mother, a wife, an employee, a manager, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, etc., because of my relation to other people, I am not a martyr for the superfluous title of No. 1 Mom (or wife, or employee, etc.). Because of this pandemic, I am not willing to ignore myself and my needs anymore. I cannot be anyone’s mother or wife or daughter, or anything if I do not take care of myself first. Over the past year, I have learned the value of listening to my body, prioritizing my needs, recognizing when I am doing too much. 

We’ve all heard the saying; you cannot pour from an empty cup. After all of this, I realize I want to make sure my own cup is full before I pour anything into anyone else’s cup because the quality of energy and effort that I give will only be as good as that that I give to myself.

Mom is a person, and mom has needs too. So, mamas, take care of yourselves. Put the kids to bed a little earlier than usual tonight or slip away and crawl into bed yourself. Take that extra ten minutes in the shower to shave your legs or use that sugar scrub you bought yourself a month ago. Take another five minutes when you get out and slather on that delicious body butter that has been collecting dust in the back of the closet. Send everyone (kids, significant other, and pets) to the basement to play and watch TV so you can make dinner while listening to your favorite podcast in peace. Turn on some music and have a dance party of one. Whatever you need to do to fill your own cup first, be like Nike, and just do it.



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