With another birthday just passing me by and the boys starting another year of school, I’ve been feeling my age lately. I’ve been feeling like an old mom.
If I’m honest, not just an old mom, but an old person. New aches and pains daily, gray hairs popping up faster than I can cover them, and fine lines turning into actual wrinkles.
I got married later in life, and started my family later, too. Sure, I didn’t have as much energy as I had when I was young, but I felt that the stage in life was actually a benefit for me and our family. We were more financially stable, and we were more settled in our life. Many of our friends at the time were on that later path as well. While I was conscious of our age, it didn’t really bother me.
As my oldest started school, that’s when I started to feel a shift. Most of the other moms were significantly younger than me. It actually hit me that I was an old mom.However, we didn’t do many play dates or get too involved socially with his class because I had the twins. They kept me so busy, I didn’t have time to really dwell on my age. But, it was always in the back of my mind.
This year and this birthday has been hard for me. It wasn’t a milestone birthday, but it hit me harder for some reason.
I had an accident over the summer, so I think that has played a part. It has thrown me off my game and rattled me in ways I didn’t really foresee. It has made me think about the future and where I’m at right now.
Then there’s the start of the school year. I can’t believe how quickly my boys are growing up. Even though they still need me, they are clearly becoming more independent, especially, my oldest. Both of my kids’ teachers are awesome, but they are also very, very young. I actually think I am old enough to be one of their mothers.
I belong to a couple mom groups and I’m feeling my age there, too. While I have made great friends, there are a lot of new, younger members. There were pregnant moms and moms with newborns at both meetings. While we are done having children, it still made me sad that we aren’t in that stage of life anymore. It was exhausting and stressful, but it was also exciting and hopeful.
I wish I could rewind the clock sometimes, but the reality is we have a lot to be excited about and hopeful for at this stage of our life, too. I may not be able to stay out until “bar time” anymore, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still have fun. Even though I have aches and pains, I’m probably in better shape than I was in my 20s. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and have learned to accept a lot of things about myself at this point in my life. That also means I know it’s okay to not always feel good about everything.
I can take some time and feel sad about getting older. The reality of this age is that I have the experience to know these feelings shall pass. It’s just a part of my journey right now, and I’m going to embrace the old mom that I am.