The day I found out I was pregnant with you, I cried, hard. I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I knew from the first moment that I saw that positive pregnancy test that you would deserve the world and I wouldn’t be able to give it to you.
I was too young. It was too soon. It all felt wrong.
But you. You were so right.
A few days later, I went to the doctor and I was far enough along to hear your heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I cried again that day, a different kind of tears though. I cried because I knew that no matter how unprepared I was to be your mom, we were going to figure it out together.
Throughout my pregnancy, as I prepared for you, you helped shed light on the more broken parts of my life. It’s something you will hopefully not understand for many, many years, but somehow along the way in my life, I had stopped loving who I was and started living a life that was not fulfilling.
Then you came along and you gave me purpose. You, my 7 pound, 4 ounce miracle, were enough to snap my entire world into focus.
You saved my life in many ways that day and you continue to do so.
You are the purest and most perfect definition of what love is and I am so eternally grateful that you are mine.
In loving you, I have learned to love myself and others again. In just a year of life, you have taught me more than I have learned in my entire twenty-five years combined. You, my boy, are my saving grace, and for that I thank you.
I am sorry that I ever doubted that I was ready for you. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had been waiting my whole life for you.
We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.