A mama friend said to me recently that sometimes snuggles are the most important thing you can do all day. Not only is this so true, but at the moment, it was something that I needed to hear.
Snuggling means living in the moment with my little ones, giving them time to be fully present with no distractions. It’s getting down on the floor with them. It’s my baby girl having some tummy time with me lying next to her. It’s the kisses my son gives me and his little sister and the tickles I give the two of them. It’s curling up under a blanket with my son and his favorite stuffed animals to read a book.
BUT there are more days than I’d like to admit when I feel like what I’m doing at home with my little ones isn’t enough. I see the messes and want to clean them. I brush and dry shampoo my hair and wonder how many days ago it was that I actually showered. I sit down briefly when the little ones are napping to relax for a moment, contemplating what I could get done and often end up doing nothing at all. The sense of guilt that accompanies these moments takes its toll.
I need to be reminded from time to time that being a mama is not about getting it all done.
Sometimes, the pressure to do it all builds up and gets to me. My priorities shift away from my little ones and to getting something done around the house. I start to think it’s not a good day if I didn’t get the kitchen cleaned or the laundry done. Honestly, the pull that I feel is one of my biggest struggles as a SAHM.
Deep down, I know that holding my little ones tight is what is most important. Those extra snuggles with my daughter when she’s done nursing, the extra cuddles for my son when he wants to read are needed by us as much as them. Some days, this is precisely how I approach my day, but other days my schedule-loving, list-making pre-mama self sneaks in my head and tries to tell me otherwise.
I have to accept that a life where things get crossed off of to-do lists in a reasonable amount of time has kind of been thrown out the window for me right now. As much as I try to incorporate some sort of schedule and all sorts of lists into my life, it’s just not happening. Case in point: my January To-Do List got renamed my Winter To-Do List, and will soon be my Spring To-Do List.
This is why I need that reminder to hit reset. I need to hear it’s ok to throw out the lists and to snuggle more. I need to not feel guilty about it.
When there isn’t a pressing reason to get things done, it’s ok to leave the dishes in the sink and to leave the laundry unfolded (or let’s be honest, in the dryer). It’s ok to shift that pile of things you wanted to take care of somewhere else. It’s ok to ask for a rain check for a playdate because the kids are acting crazy.
So, here’s a gentle reminder to snuggle more and to worry less.
Hold your little ones tight and read them an extra story. Join them on the floor while they are building a fort or playing cook in the kitchen. Take the time to study their faces because they change and grow so quickly and because these moments with them like they are right now are fleeting.
There is no better time than now to snuggle.
Slow down and take it all in. Everything else can wait. The dishes will be there tomorrow. Your To-Do List will be as well. Don’t feel guilty about ignoring it because those snuggles are everything.