When Your Mom Friends Move Away

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Let’s talk about mom friends for a minute.

Not only does it become 1,000 times more difficult to make friends as an adult, finding that group of mom friends you fit in with is immensely more challenging. Often times, I catch my second grader playing with neighborhood friends with complete abandon and wish I could do I same. If only I could go back to those early childhood times of making friends with anyone and everyone – but life and experience have colored my ability to easily let others in. I find myself insecure around new people, where I once would not have given it a second thought. Making new friends as an adult is hard.

Several years ago, I clicked with a couple of new friends who quickly became family. We met as young married and single ladies and quickly grew families that resembled each other. They are my sweet, treasured mom friends. They are the friends I have discussed feeding woes with, the ones who stood in solidarity with me when my baby just would not sleep, and the friends who gave me a much-needed pep talk when I ventured into potty training. These Mom friends are Godmothers and adopted Aunties to my kids. Our kids love each other – some of them even betrothed for marriage one day. There is not a single birthday or major life celebration that my Mom Friends and their kids have not been a part of…until now.

Last year, in what was already a major year of transition for our family both of my dear, best mom friends moved away.

While I celebrated the exciting circumstances that took them to their new cities with them, inside I mourned what would no longer be. I can no longer grab coffee and head over to my friend’s house after a long, sleepless night or during one of those “lonely mom days” we all know too well. Their kids will no longer be around to celebrate birthdays or big life events with. Yes, we can still talk on the phone and text- which we do daily -but it doesn’t take the place of a hug, or shared tears over the struggles of mommyhood. I miss my mom friends every day and every day I fear I may never know a local friendship like this again. 

When your mom friends move away, you find different ways to support each other and stay a part of each other’s lives. Our kids facetime each other and my heart soars hearing their little voices in conversation. Last spring we got to visit one of these families, and it was a beautiful, soul-filling time, a vacation that will always be treasured. This summer we are planning a vacation where all three families will be together for the first time in two years, and it can not come quickly enough. These dear friends who were once a part of my everyday life will be the families we take many vacations with, rehashing memories of the times we spent in the same city and making new ones in different cities.

I can’t replace these mom friends or replicate what we have been through together. These mom friends, who are so dear to me, are comfortable like putting on your favorite old sweatshirt on a crisp fall day. The laughter we share and the understanding of each other’s hearts come easy like only the best kind of friendships do. Putting myself out there to make new mom friends is hard and I’m not very good at it.

I see deep friendships all throughout the MkeMomsBlog community. This beautiful community of moms love each other, they don’t shame or put down, they are there for one another to laugh with and support each other on this journey of motherhood. Mom friends, although sometimes hard to come by, are a necessity to life. I’m thankful for this space that brings us together in solidarity and celebration of the power we share when we support each other.

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