When was the last time you took a self inventory? When have you really looked at your life and asked yourself the hard questions? I did recently when a dear friend asked me how I was REALLY doing.
It started off like any email between friends. “How are you?” What made this email special was that the questions continued, went further and dug deeper. She truly wanted to how I’ve been the last few months, since the birth of my daughter. With these questions, she helped me do a self-inventory.
“How have you been doing the past couple of months? Is there anything you need/want that I can provide support for you on? What are your fears right now? What are your joys? How are you and your husband during this time of transition? Are you feeling connected to yourself not as a mother, or wife, but as a woman?”
At first, I felt overwhelmed by her questions. They couldn’t be satisfied with one word responses. They required thought, honesty, and for me to really take a look at myself, my feelings, and my life. All of this made me uncomfortable, but as I’ve realized over the last few years, there is much to be gained by stepping out of your comfort zone.
So, I set aside some time to answer my friend’s questions. I did this not only for her, but for me. Answering the questions was hard and required processing. I hadn’t taken stock of my life since before my daughter was born. Even then, it was a mostly surface and off-the-cuff assessment. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I thought about whether I was fulfilled, happy, connected to myself, my husband, etc.
Thankfully, most of the answers came easily as I’m in a good place right now.
The more difficult questions to answer were much harder to write a response for. It took me a while to face what I had to say, to put my fears and concerns into writing. I didn’t want to make them real. As scary as it was to do so, it was also liberating and comforting to share them with a trusted friend who could offer me the support and reassurance I need.
Taking a self-inventory is important to me. I vow to revisit the questions my friend presented to me at least quarterly, even during hard times as they might help me get more in touch with ME. I also plan to check in with my friends to make sure I’m doing the best I can to support them and to keep a dialogue of support and introspection going.