I absolutely love the idea of cleaning house with Marie Kondo and finding my joy. Even if it is the joy of an uncluttered home. However, I am a Kondo failure. After fifteen years with five people in the same house, I absolutely agree it is time to get rid of some stuff. What I didn’t count on were the endless questions in my head as I examine items to see if they spark joy and still serve me.
I hold each item up and try to clear my mind. Instead I hear: what if we need it in the future? You know, it is easier just to find a place for this than to have to run out and buy another. Or, this isn’t mine, what if it does spark joy for a different family member?
Then, there is my own closet. Believe me, after a winter of celebrations and an illness that included steroids, nothing in that crowded, cavernous, cubicle sparks joy. Nothing fits right. Too tight here, too tight there, just basically too tight in all the wrong places. And, did you know that when you gain weight your pants and skirts all mysteriously get shorter? I blame something behind me that I cannot see but sometimes catch in a shadow reflection. I hear big booties are all the rage now, just not on women my age.
So, here I am standing ankle deep in shoes that match a decade’s worth of clothing that no longer sparks joy. I am wondering where to start and what to part with and I realize one thing. If I get rid of the clothes that do not spark joy because they no longer fit, I have given up hope. Hope that I will ever part with the extra weight that does NOT spark joy but is not so easily KonMari’d, Kondoized, Kondo’d, whatever. I have given in to a truth that I don’t want to be a truth. The truth that I have settled for this new body, that this is as active as I will ever be. Does this clothing still serve me? No. But hope does, right?
So, I say NO! I will not settle! I will not admit defeat and give up on these items! They will serve me again. I will fight to have them spark joy for me. I will store them another six months or year (or ten) in the HOPE that they will fit. I will fold them, hang them, and gently move them around or toss them on the floor until that time comes. I believe they can spark joy…ope, except for that gold denim blazer, that one has got to go.