Since having my son, I think a lot about the future. What kind of man he will become, the type of individual he will choose to spend his life with, and where I will fit into all of this. As much as I’d love it, I know he won’t be a mama’s boy forever. I will need to let go and trust that he makes the right decisions for himself. I just know that if he decided to be with someone who treated him the way I catch myself treating his father, I wouldn’t be happy.
I haven’t always been a great wife. Heck, sometimes I’m not even a good one.
I lose my patience with my husband quickly. Normal topics of conversation get under my skin and I just can’t. I am short with him; I get annoyed, as if what he says is wasting my time or just completely uninteresting. After a long day, I bury my face in my phone as I aimlessly scroll through Facebook instead of sitting down to have a real conversation with him. All of this I am not proud of.
I am trying to be a better wife. I need to be a better wife, not only for myself and my husband, but for our son.
Our home is the first place he will learn about relationships and if I don’t start to demonstrate a healthy one, what is he going to learn? My husband is someone’s son. He has a mom who wants the best for him, just as I do for mine, and I am not delivering on that and he deserves better.
Every day I make a conscious decision to be better. To be the partner I want for my son someday. I’ve learned to take a deep breath and to let things go. I try to slow down and really listen to what my husband has to say. I give him grace and try to be more patient. I try to be more present, to put my phone down and spend time with those who matter the most, my family.
It’s not always easy, and sometimes I fail, but tomorrow is always a new day. We have good days and bad, but the odds are beginning to tip in our favor and we are seeing many more good days.
