I’ve learned a thing or two in motherhood about what, or who, rather, a “best friend” is.

I have a feeling you’re going to want to thank those ladies in your life after reading through these qualities of the best friend in motherhood.

And if you happen to feel you’ve been struggling in your own friend game lately (because… Motherhood), these just might renew in you how simple it truly is to be the best friend you can be in motherhood.

So here goes, here is what I have seen in the best friend to have in motherhood.

She Doesn’t Shy Away From Your Chaos.

I don’t need to tell you, Momma- motherhood is messy and LOUD.

Between the notorious diaper blowout, a minefield of toys, clothes that never make it quite as far as the hamper, and mountains of dishes, it’s hard to imagine there’s space for friendship in motherhood.

But the best friend in motherhood, she steps with you right over the toys that daily threaten to take your life, and she doesn’t think twice about it.

You don’t have to get the house in order before she enters.

Blood-curdling screams don’t shake her.

She’s a natural at jumping in to scoop up a child who genuinely needs you, but most often, the best friend in motherhood knows a thing or two herself about shaking it off when there’s no blood.

She Gives You Space for All of Your Heart.

Your kids, they’re the most beautiful souls to walk this Earth. You can’t believe you’re the one to look in on them after they’ve fallen asleep.

If she’s a mother, the best friend in motherhood gets it. If she’s not a mother, she loves to see that look in your eyes when you share it with her.

But let’s be honest, your children, they know how to raise hell, too. And when all hell breaks loose, she doesn’t think any less of you or your children when you need to let it off your chest.

You can breathe because the best friend in motherhood has you.

She Meets You Where You Are.

In motherhood, our lives don’t revolve around ourselves anymore, so naturally, friendships can’t either.

The best friend in motherhood shifts from one season into the next with you.

The only time to meet might literally be as you walk the aisles of the grocery store, checking grocery shopping off the to-do list together.

A date in 2020 might look like a taco truck lunch date in the Wal-mart parking lot.

The best friend in motherhood is content to sit with you, wherever life has you.

She Holds Your Heart Even When She Can’t Hold Your Hand.

She might not be able to be there with you. She might not understand even if she can be there with you.

But she’s the one who rubs your back as you crumble into a sobbing heap when even you didn’t realize you could be that vulnerable.

There might be extended periods of time in-between your connections, but the best friend in motherhood, she is there, a piece of your lifeline. You need only to reach out. You know you’ll hear from her again. And when you do, it’s as if you’ve never been apart.

She Thinks of the Practical Things.

The best friend in motherhood knows how to serve. It’s all you do in motherhood. She sees you.

She holds the baby so that you can take a shower.

She does the dishes so that you can hold the baby.

She opens her home to your laundry, so you don’t have to make it to the laundromat today, and even better, you can fold it in the company of an adult human.

She hears you when you share you don’t have your important documents in any kind of order, or your nursing bras are few and far between, and when you give birth, she comes with a filing organizer and nursing bras in hand.

She Enjoys Time with Your Children, AND She Looks Forward to Getting Away from the Children with You.

Your children make the best friend in motherhood smile, too.

They are comfortable enough to be themselves with her, their glorious, terrible selves.

You get to make yourself comfortable, too.

Be it a date in the books, or the dream of another season, the best friend in motherhood also swoons with you over a quiet glass of wine, a festive margarita, the sweetest treats, the book you steal away to, a hearty laugh, and the bliss of silence.

She loves your children, too.

Is there any gift in motherhood like someone who loves your children?