Things Moms Do Not Want to Wake Up To


Mornings are hard anyway, but as a new family of six (!), routines are being altered as we adjust to having doubled our household size. But over the last month, there have been several (unwanted) morning “surprises” around the house. And not all of them have been good ones.

In no particular order, I present things moms do not want to wake up to.

And yes, all of these have happened recently. (P.S. Send coffee. And wine. Or plane tickets to a place I can sleep in without interruption.)

Kid/pet covered in vomit. There’s nothing like being in a deep peaceful sleep when you hear the unmistakable sound of your dog retching next to your bed. Or the delightful call shriek of your child standing outside your room covered in her own vomit.

Overflowing toilet. Is there anything more awful than dealing with a clogged toilet? Now imagine hearing the kids yelling, “It won’t stop! There’s poop everywhere! The water just keeps COMING!” as you are were enjoying the most relaxing sleep you’ve had in days.

Notification of a major project – due that day. Looks like you’re taking an incomplete on it, kiddo. I can’t whip up 20 cupcakes or help with a make-your-own-ornament project in the 10 free minutes we have in the morning. Lesson learned? Of course not. We’ll be down this road again.

Notification of missing homework/gloves/clean clothes/lunch box 30 seconds before it’s time to leave. I’m a very schedule-driven person, and we leave the house at exactly the same time every day. We set as much out as possible the night before to avoid these crunches, but it’s inevitable. And it usually involves some sort of monumental breakdown by at least one of us.

The realization you took Tylenol PM at 4:30 am, not regular Tylenol. Oh boy! The whole family has dealt with that nasty upper respiratory thing for the last two months, and I was the last woman standing – until I got pneumonia. But accidentally taking a sedative less than two hours before having to wake up? Yeah, I don’t recommend that. It makes for a rough morning.

Permission slips that need signed and checks that need to be written while on the way to school. Of course, no checkbook and no pens in the car. Why wasn’t this in the assignment folder with the rest of the junk 15 art projects and school flyers? Answer unknown.

Phone reminder that you’re double booked with back-to-back kids’ dental appointments and an important work meeting. Or, as I like to call it, the “Shoot! I thought about that last week and forgot to change it” notification. The realization is usually followed by several curse words and the hope that cloning becomes a reality in the next six hours.

Cold shower. Dude, it’s winter. In Wisconsin. It’s cold, but on those REALLY cold mornings, it can take forever for the shower in our master bathroom to warm up. It is the farthest point from the water heater, and even after 10 minutes, the water is barely lukewarm. Not that I’m complaining, because, you know, I’ll be sweating buckets and whining about that come August.

Yeah, I don’t have any advice or profound words of wisdom for you, mama. Just know you’re not alone in whatever morning struggles you endure. I lift my coffee mug to you!



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