When I was pregnant, my friends were so excited to hang out with me and the baby. Now that he’s here, it seems that everyone is living life and having a blast, while I’m focused on my little one alone.
My social life is NOT what it used to be.
Motherhood has changed the dynamics of my life and relationships. The phone doesn’t ring as much, texts stopped coming in, and invitations have ceased. I understand that everyone can’t put their lives on pause because I decided to become a mother, but sometimes, it gets lonely.
Don’t get me wrong, motherhood is the best thing that has happened to me, but sometimes I miss my pre-mommy life. I miss the freedom to come and go as I please or stay out as long as I want to. I miss hanging out with friends and family without chasing a toddler around. I miss being the social butterfly I once was. I see friends doing things with other friends that they used to do with me. It stings to see that friends went to an event and didn’t even extend an invitation to me. I recognize that it takes a little bit more for me to be able to hang out like I used to. I need more advanced notice so I can secure care for my son. I need a more structured event so I can let my family know when I’ll be back. I can’t just up and go like I used to.
My social life is different now and that’s not a bad thing. I’ve found other ways to occupy my time and satisfy my social needs. I’ve connected with other moms. I made friends who had babies in the same year I had my son. I’ve traded dinner and dancing for play dates and kid-friendly venues. I now actually prefer early mornings and consistent bedtimes.
Although I sometimes long for the freedom of life before motherhood, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
As my son grows and becomes more independent, I’ll be able to socialize again and rekindle relationships. Eventually, the phone will ring again. The texts will come and the invitations will resume. Until then, securing a babysitter and scheduling my kid-free outings in advance will suffice. I’ll learn to love my new normal.