When someone asks me what I do, I want to say everything. Or nothing. Instead, I say I’m a Stay at Home Mom. When I tell them my kids are in school, they give me a funny look. Even though they aren’t home with me, my kids still need me to be there. 

Let me explain.

I’ve always wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom. 

My mom stayed home with me and my brother when I was growing up. She took care of us, the house, and was always there when we needed her. She made our lunches, did our laundry, and took us to all of our activities. She also was my Brownie leader, went on a million field trips, and helped out in the classroom. While I didn’t always appreciate it at the time, I sure do now. My mom was (and is) amazing, and I wanted to be just like her.

So, when I first got pregnant, I was actually out of work. I had been laid off from my job, and then I was so sick from the pregnancy, we decided I would stay home. As my baby became a toddler, I worked part-time, but we had grandparents babysit or my husband would be home. My primary job was to take care of our little family.

Then my twin pregnancy happened.

It was full of complications, so I stopped working all together.  When our twins were born, they spent the first three months in the hospital, and when they came home, they could not be in daycare due to their weakened immune systems. I also had to keep my oldest out of preschool for their health.

Again, I was lucky enough to stay home with all three of my boys. I was able to be there for all of their “firsts” and watch them grow. It was an amazing experience and the hardest job I’ve ever had.

But, they don’t stay little or stay at home forever.

When my oldest started school, I started working part-time as a dance teacher, but those night and weekend hours still allowed me to be home with my twins. Once the twins started school, I thought I would work full-time, but I quickly realized it wasn’t possible…yet.

They still need me, and my first priority right now is my boys. 

Whether it’s walking them to the bus in the morning, volunteering in art class, or waiting on our driveway for them to come home, I love that they still need me and want me to be around.  I’ve been on a million field trips, help at school parties, and make lunches. I’ve been to every school concert, high interest day, and fun run. When someone is sick, I take care of them. I don’t have to worry about asking off work when they need to go to the eye doctor or dentist. Plus, I’m here every day-off from school, early release, and summer vacation.

Even though my boys aren’t at home, my days are still full with taking care of our family. I do laundry, shopping, and cleaning while they are at school, so I’m able to spend time with them when they are home.

There will be a time when they don’t need (or want) me to go on field trips or pick out their clothes in the morning. They may not want that hug just as the bus is pulling up. They will be too big to listen to stories on my lap and will prefer playing with their friends vs hanging out with me…which is already starting to happen. I’m pretty sure they’ll always want me to take care of them when they are sick, but who doesn’t?

These days of them being little and wanting their mommy go so fast, and I want to be around for every single one.


  1. This is fabulous and I love the perspective you gathered and succinctly wrote out. I think moms who stay home especially after the kids are all in school get judged, but I appreciate your reasoning here, and I think you are choosing the better thing to be with your boys especially in this time of their youth. Thanks for this post.

  2. I am struggling with this right now my youngest of two just started school a few weeks ago and while i keep contemplating going back to work I feel like i need to be here when they come home. It’s nice to hear someone else thinks this way????

  3. Sadly, somebody who is a “stay at home mom” will NOT receive ANY respect by those that work in the so-called “real” world. The only respect you will receive are from other stay at home moms. And that isn’t sating much as it stands!

  4. What alot of people don’t realize is that unless you work at your kid’s school, there really isn’t a work schedule that fits in with the school schedules. For example, kids are only in school 180 days of the year. They are out of school for the entire summer, all federal holidays, winter and spring breaks. If you have a child in Kindergarten, theyre out of school 3 hours early about 2-3 times a month. There’s also “professional development” days where there is no school. So if a family like mine has no childcare or can’t afford it, who cares for the kids while BOTH parents are at work? In my situation, we don’t have a village of people that are available to us to help on those days and working just to pay for a babysitter these days doesn’t make much financial sense..especially if the job doesn’t pay well. The bottom line is, unless both working parents can afford childcare on all of the days kids are NOT in school or have free childcare from grandparents, friends etc, someone has to be available. I initially didn’t choose to be a SAHM but then we realized that its the only option right now. I love my family and being a SAHM but I wish more people realized or understood how much of a sacrifice it is and its not always a choice.


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