She Won’t Remember And I’ll Never Forget

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Someone almost made my heart stop this week.

When I was lamenting about you having to share the attention and toys once your little sister arrives, this person said, “It’s OK, she’ll never remember a life without a sister.”

Oh, Eggroll. There has been so much to remember already.

There was that first night when you slept on my chest in the hospital and made the same little “puh” noise your daddy makes in his sleep.

There was the first trip to the playground and the joy of your first ride in a swing.

There were a million diapers and trips to the grocery store for something to do.

Mommy and Me Lunch Date at Stir CrazyThere was our first special lady date when I took you out to lunch. I don’t think you were even eating much food yet, but you sat in your high chair and I talked to you like you could talk back. You flirted with the waiter and gnawed on a straw. It was great.

There was the afternoon just recently where we fell asleep in a nap holding hands and smiling at each other.

There were so many hugs, so many books, so many tears.

There were those moments I just couldn’t wait for your dad to come home or for you to go to bed and those moments when I stood at the door waiting for you to come home from daycare so we could play.

There was the first time you crawled and the first time you tried yogurt and the first time you counted to two. (Genius!)

There were splashes in the bathtub and in the pool. There was wrestling with the new puppy that always ended in tears, a timeout, and a “Mama, hug please me!”

There was an obsession with your new raincoat and boots and a need for a jewelry box for my fashionable lady.

There were times when we made cookies and others when you caught me eating “nummies!” in the pantry.

There were so many good things.

Photo credit to Stephanie Sanchez Photography
Photo credit to Stephanie Sanchez Photography

Eggroll, I know when we were in the thick of it I didn’t truly appreciate this special time together. For that, I am sorry. But I am SO grateful that I have these memories to look back on. You made me a mother. You taught me how to share. You showed me that your father is an even more amazing human than I thought possible.

This next little girl is my gift to you, girlfriend. As the luckiest only child on the face of the planet, the only thing my life is missing is a sibling. I hope this gift proves to be a good one. I hope the two of you love each other and trust each other and enjoy each other’s company.

Meanwhile, I know I’m supposed to wait back here and watch proudly as the two of you grow up together, but I’m jealous, dear girl. I want to be the one making one-on-one memories with my Eggroll.

These next few months are bound to be pretty hairy for our relationship as we both learn how to navigate life with another newborn. That is to say nothing about angst that will come the middle school years.

But Eggroll, it has been my honor to share the last two years of my life with you. I may someday go full-on crazy, but I will never, ever, ever forget what it was like to have that time together.

Eggroll, today I am grateful for you.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Beautiful sentiments Maggie! I feel similarly about my first daughter; she is 20 months older than my second girl and I wonder if I didn’t fully appreciate her time as an only child. But it has been really cool to see them start to bond and also collude in mischief against Mom and Dad 🙂

  2. Beautiful, a nice reminder to enjoy my time with Lucas, he is only 6 months old and sometimes I think about how I can’t wait to have another one, but for now I am loving the time being a first time mommy to the best baby boy I could have ever asked for.

  3. This made me cry because I so relate to how you’re feeling. My boys are 17 months apart and as I told my pediatrician how guilty I felt for being pregnant when my oldest was so small she reminded me that he wouldn’t remember not having a sibling. And giving him a sibling has been the greatest gift. They are 3 and 20 months and I can’t tell you how much joy it gives me to see them play together and love each other.

  4. My kids are 5, 12 (tomorrow), and 19. My oldest remembers being an only child, and my middle child remembers being the ‘baby’ of the family. I know they both felt some resentment when the younger ones were born, but they all have an amazing bond. My only regret is that I can’t give my youngest child (my only daughter) the gift of a sister.

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